What Would You Do Without Me?

Urban Meyer, former Univ. of Florida football coach was hired by Ohio State. He is returning to football after resigning from Florida last year for health reasons. But he's back now and says he feels good. A 4-year, $6.4 million contract would put almost anyone back on their feet.

Sneakered feet on hardwood is exactly what we can look forward to at Christmas. Santa is coming to town accompanied by the NBA. That's a lot of men in uniform. The powers that be are in the process of setting the schedule for the season, which is now shortened to 66 games, starting on Christmas day.

Over in the NFL, the Green Bay Packers are still undefeated at 11-0 and sadly, the Peyton Manningless Indianapolis Colts are winless at 0-11. Word on the street is that Manning may just retire. What an ego boost to know that some people can't do a thing right without you.

One on One

One win for the Rangers and one for the Cardinals in the MLB World Series, but the NBA players and owners say deuces. They agree to disagree on labor talks with no future meeting scheduled. The season is looking bleak. But while we wait on basketball, there’s always college football to satiate, or act as a time suck, whichever way you see it. Check out this weekend’s big rivalry of Notre Dame against USC. Any sports bar is sure to offer a few prime prospects for this one. Go Team!

Money Talks, Cutie Walks

When you and your man get in a fight or disagree, a flirty wink and a pouty look usually gets you your way, but not so with the NBA owners and players. That would be awkward. Net, net, they are bringing in the Feds to settle their dispute, a federal mediator, that is. He's the same guy who was involved in the NFL disputes earlier this year. Touchdown? For Auburn University, yes. They were finally cleared today by the NCAA for allegations that their recruitment of Heisman Trophy winner, first-round draft pick, Carolina Panther QB and cutie extraordinaire, Cam Newton, involved some hefty monetary benefits and pay for play action. I mean, even if it were the case, could you blame them? Look at him.

Invisible Woman

Right about now you are probably feeling a little neglected. For the majority of a Sunday (and Saturday for college football) you suddenly don't matter as much as you did a week ago. It's not that he's just not that into you, it's that he's just that into football. You'll never be able to compete with a man's attention during the season, particularly week one, so the old adage proves wise, yet again: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Your best best is donning a T-shirt supporting his favorite team. Ah! Ah! We don't want to hear it. There are lots of shirts made specifically for women, and they are actually really sporty, sexy, cute. If you don't have a prospect yet, buy the shirt you like the best, or, for even more attention, by the shirt for your hometown team's rival and wear it out to a sports bar. It's an instant icebreaker and conversation piece--like taking candy from a baby. Consider this your first assignment in your journey to become MVG (Most Valuable Girlfriend.) Love takes work, so here's your perfect excuse to shop. Tax deductible? Probably not. Here are a few of our favorite styles. If you shop today, you get free shipping at NFLSHOP.com. Who can resist that?

By the way, if you have no idea where to find the closest sports bar, look no farther.

Human Resources

Former baseball heavy hitter, Mark McGwire kicked off the week with an admission of steroid use during his career. Altruism? No. He just wanted a coaching gig with the Cardinals and had to come clean. No pun intended.

In other org changes, Lane Kiffin took over as head coach for USC since his predecessor,  Pete Carroll, jumped at the head coach job with the Seattle Seahawks. Kiffin was formerly the coach at Tennessee.

Speaking of pretty good coaches, for the second time in four years, Boise State football coach Chris Peterson won the Bear Bryant award that recognizes the nation's best coach.

And in less positive news, Washington Wizard Gilbert Arenas was charged with a felony for carrying a gun without a license. Word on the street, and locker room, is that he won't be a Wizard for long and if the law allows, his eighty-something-million-dollar contract will be voided. Nice way to start off the new year, buddy.

Playing For Keeps

If your relationship made it through college football bowl season, chances are it can survive anything. Last week college football saw Alabama win the championship title. Our dear friend and Washington Wizard Gilbert Arenas, managed to get himself suspended indefinitely for the little show-down-at-the-locker-room-corral stunt that he pulled on his teammate. Tiger is still no where to be found, and that's all fine and dandy, but the real whoop-dee-doo came from NFL wildcard weekend. In the AFC, Baltimore will play Indy and the NY Jets will play the San Diego Chargers. In the NFC, it's Dallas against Minnesota and Arizona against New Orleans.

Weekends Gone Wild

Nothing like showing up to work on Monday morning only to get fired. You've got to know the rest of the week is only going down hill from there. This is the plight of Washington Redskins head coach, Jim Zorn. After two failed seasons, he's out of there. This is what happens when you've had no previous professional coaching experience and were hired out of desperation.

This past weekend wrapped up the regular NFL season. In order to set the playoff picture, some "wild card" games will take place on Sunday.  Our friends at Wikipedia have so nicely explained how it all works:

"The first round of the playoffs is dubbed the Wild Card Playoffs (or Wild Card Weekend). In this round, the third-seeded division winner hosts the sixth seed wild card, and the fourth seed hosts the fifth. The 1 and 2 seeds from each conference receive a bye in the first round, which entitles these teams to automatic advancement to the second round, the Divisional Playoffs, where they face the Wild Card Weekend survivors. Unlike the NBA, the NFL does not use predetermined brackets. In the second round of the playoffs, the top seed always hosts the lowest surviving seed, while the other two teams pair off. The two surviving teams from each conference's Divisional Playoff games meet in the respective AFC and NFC Conference Championship games, with the winners of those contests going on to face one another in the Super Bowl."

Wikipedia National Football League Playoffs

You should know that all four wild-card games will be a rematch from the regular season, including three from Week 17. The NY Jets-Cincinnati Bengals rematch is the only one that will be at a different site from their regular-season meeting. This nugget'o'trivia may put you in good standing.

But does any of this really matter when The Bachelor, with Jake the pilot, premieres Monday evening at 8pm EST on ABC?

If that's not a reason to throw a party, then watch the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl tonight with TCU against Boise St. Chips optional.

Guns and Roses

It's January 1, but can't the season to be merry still carry over? Is it really necessary to pull guns on each other in a locker room? Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittendon? So it is, apparently, to these NBA Washington Wizard teammates. Nobody can really confirm that this event actually did happen, but nobody is denying it either. Sigh. 2010 is looking very much like times of old. Can't we all just get along?

As Friday's college football bowl games come to an end, here's a quick recap:

• Ohio State took the Rose Bowl, beating the Oregon Ducks.
• Penn State rallied to overcome LSU with a field goal in the Capital One Bowl.
• Florida State won the Gator Bowl over ranked West Virgina, giving FSU coach, Bobby Bowden, one last hoorah before his retirement.
• Florida is having a sweet time at the Sugar Bowl building a sure win over Cincinnati.

January 2, here we come, rocking and rolling.

Holiday Transactions

While you've been chugging eggnog and scrounging up all of your holiday money to acquire some Louboutins, our men friends have been in their own set of holiday heaven. Welcome to college football bowl and NFL playoff-determining seasons. Time for giving and receiving.

Also time for letting go. Mike Leach, head coach for Texas Tech, was fired after a player alleged that he confined him to small dark spaces while the team practiced. This because the player had a concussion. New age healing?  Initially Leach was suspended. Then, after he became less than cooperative and rather litigious, Texas Tech, came back one stronger and fired him just before he was due his $800K bonus. That's gonna leave a mark on the Christmas budget.

Also, while you were out shopping, Urban Meyer, Florida's head football coach, took a leave of absence after the SEC Championship game, citing health reasons. Meyer is an icon in college football coaching and is stepping away to put health, family and faith before the game. Good call.

Finally, working on your birthday is never fun, but you can kind of get over it when you are paid millions to do so. Happy Birthday to LeBron James, who turned "25" today. Those in attendance of Wednesday's game are all witnesses.

Oh, and be forewarned. On December 31st, ESPN (your nemisis) is airing 12 hours of college basketball from 12 p.m to 12 a.m. Just what you had in mind to bring in the new year, we're sure.

Small Victories

It turns out Tiger Woods is on track to lose endorsers faster than he lost his mind when straying from his marriage. Accenture, a global consulting company, announced that the two are no longer a good fit. Elin, his wife, might be having similar thoughts. Tiger is taking time away from the game to work on something slightly more important -- his duties as a father and husband. This concludes our golf report.

Saturday was an important day for egos in college football. The Heisman Trophy, honoring the most outstanding player in college football, was awarded to Mark Ingram, a running back from Alabama. He is the first Alabama player to win the award, which is surprising given the strength of the program.

Though we have a reprieve from college football play until January, college basketball replaces it with equal opportunity to bust up a perfectly good weekend or meaningful conversation. Say one sentence like, "Oh, I see Cincinnati and Xavier are all tied up in overtime" and your precious one-on-one time is over. We must warn you, Monday Morning Girlfriends, the knowledge we provide is to be applied skillfully and thoughtfully. Never, ever, under any circumstance, spew out random sports facts, like the one above, if your man is NOT watching or thinking about the game. If you have his undivided attention, keep it that way, and start talking about your recent pedicure. Mention a game score and you're as good as forgotten.  

Xavier won, by the way, in an upset in double overtime. While we are on the subject, Temple beat Villanova, a top five team. Everything, as you see, in college sports, is about rankings. Perhaps, sports imitating (love) life?

Bringing Something to the Table. No, really.

The only time you will likely hear men engaging in such passionate discussions about tableware is when they are talking about college football championships. The Bowl Championship Series, aka BCS. Just about every object or brand you can think of has its own special bowl--sugar, roses, oranges, fiestas, chicken burgers, pizza and banks. Even a Buster got a bowl. Some of the notable table settings are as follows:

Alabama v. Texas - Citi National Title Game
Cincinnati and Boise State - Fiesta Bowl
Penn State v. LSU - Capital One Bowl
Florida v. Cincinnati - Allstate Sugar Bowl
Ohio State v. Oregon - Rose Bowl
Virginia Tech v. Tennessee - Chick-fil-A Bowl

The New Orleans Saints don't need bowls to keep winning in the NFL. They just take advantage of poor performances from even poorer teams. This is how they secured a win Sunday in overtime against the Washington Redskins. The Saints are 12-0. The Redskins, not so much.

Shutting It Down

So, Tiger's case has swiftly concluded and wrapped up with a mere traffic ticket issued by the State Troopers. Just like that it's all over. Money talks--or doesn't. There is still speculation that he has been unfaithful in his marriage. A professional athlete cheating on his wife, is unfortunately not news, so we'll move on.

Florida State's head football coach, Bobby Bowden, is retiring after 44 years at the conclusion of the season. He is the second winningest coach in college football and 80 years old. As he said, nothing lasts forever, but he's darn near close.

The New Orleans Saints are hoping their win streak does though. The took down the New England Patriots in Monday Night Football and remained undefeated.

If At First You Don't Succeed, You'll Get Talked About or Fired

So it may not be golf season, but the world never takes a break from Tiger Woods (or gossip), especially when his squeaky clean image is threatened with the slightest amount of tarnish. Woods crashed his SUV right outside his driveway into a neighbor's tree on Friday. At 2 a.m. Hmmmm.  You kind of have to wonder if he yelled, "Four!" The details of the incident involve his wife running out and smashing out the back window with a club to save him. Hmmmm. Woods was laying down in the driveway with cuts and bruises on his face. Hmmmmm. He hasn't spoken to the media, other than releasing a statement on his website about the embarrassment of the incident and dispelling any rumors that there was trouble at home. Mmmmhmm.

With that, we move to college football, which is nicely wrapping up. For the second year in a row, the Southeastern Conference championship game will be Florida (#1) against Alabama (#2).
Also in college football news is the fate of Notre Dame's head coach, Charlie Weis, who after Saturday's loss to Standford, awaits the call from Notre Dame's athletic director. To keep or not to keep. That is the question.

Weis isn't the only head coach off to bad start this year. Try 0-16. The NBA's New Jersey Nets fired head coach Lawrence Frank for this stellar display of leadership for the start of the season.

And if you're still counting, yes the Indianapolis Colts of the NFL are yet defeated.  Yawn.

Rules Were Made To Be Broken

If you drive your car really fast,  you're likely to be rewarded with a ticket and the shame of getting caught as passersby look on in relief. None of this applies to NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson. He drove at exceed speeds to be crowned king of the road and was handed a nice, shiny trophy on Sunday. As the first driver in NASCAR history to win 4 consecutive championships, he's also entitled to a bragging right or two.

Unfortunately bragging rights don't abound for Charlie Weis, the head football coach at Notre Dame. Notre Dame is a college football powerhouse; they are expected to be good. So far, they are 6-5 this season. Not so good. Weis' employment future is looking somewhat bleak, as there has been much ado about firing him. Weis himself says he understands why. The decision is supposed to made after next Saturday's game against Stanford.

In the NFL, the New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Colts are annoyingly still undefeated. Good if you are a fan of either, but enough already, if you aren't.

Enough already.

Weekends Are For Champions

In a much welcomed diversion from baseball and football, Serena Williams ended the tennis season against older sister Venus Williams in the WTA Championships in Qatar. As seemed customary this year, Serena emerged the victor over Venus. Serena played it cool, after showing out months prior at the U.S. Open, and instead celebrated her Sony Ericsson Champsionship win with a simple fist pump, a la Tiger Woods.

In November, one can only turn a blind eye to football for but so long, so along we go to football updates. Most notably in college football, Texas beat Oklahoma State, who is missing key wide receiver Dez Bryant, due to ineligibility. Texas is now ranked #2 in the AP Poll, ousting Alabama who held the spot for like forever. Oregon put a dagger in the heart of USC. Been there? In the NFL, the Baltimore Ravens did the honors and finally defeated the Denver Broncos. The Indianapolis Colts and New Orleans Saints, on the other hand, can update their Facebook status with something obnoxious about still being unbreakable. Brett Favre's own might read: Current age: 40. Record with new team: 6-1. Getting booed upon my return to Lambeau field and beating my old team: Priceless.

Speaking of priceless, action on the diamond resumed in game 4 of the Major League Baseball World Series. The NY Yankees and Philadelphia Phillies kept it interesting with a tie game at the top of the 9th inning, but the Yankees eventually slid in a few, winning 7 to 4. The Yanks are up 3 games to 1 and need one more win to be the champs. Philly is thinking otherwise. Game 5 is Monday at 8 p.m. EST.

There you have it, USC's Matt Barkley proved that good guys do come out ahead. This doesn't bode well for your argument for dating a bad boy. Barkley and crew trumped Notre Dame's Clausen and co. This week's top three BCS ranked teams are Florida, Alabama and Texas. Florida nearly lost against Arkansas, which would have been a huge upset. Florida is probably a little upset anyway, since they lost the number spot in the AP poll to Alabama Crimson Tide. Red substances always seems to cause trouble...

But let's keep this professional, so onto the NFL. The Saints and Vikings remain undefeated after Sunday's games. The Saints did so by issuing a bruise to the ego of the New York Giants, who have now lost their membership to the undefeated elite. Perhaps scared of being put in the same category, New England's Tom Brady wasn't having all of last week's talk questioning his quarterbackhood, so he casually threw 6 touchdowns in a 59-0 pummeling over the Tennessee Titans. All that was missing was a latte in one hand, really.

Around the diamond, (not that one), the Yankees are up two games to one with a win over the Angels Saturday night that went in the wee hours of the morning. The Phillies have the advantage, two to one, after Sunday's game over the Dodgers.

It's Monday Morning. You've been briefed. Go forth and make a play.

Weekend Outlook: Cloudy With a Chance of Football

We've heard a million times that nice guys finish last. The theory will be tested again on Saturday as good guy Matt Barkley and the USC Trojans confront Jimmy Clausen and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Two respective QBs with enormous talent--one lives for God, the other thinks he is the gift of God. Saturday at 3:30p.m. EST is when it all goes down. In addition to this game, there are plenty of other top 25 matchups this Saturday, so if you don't hear from Mr. Man, take comfort that it's not another woman. It's about 20 other guys.

In the NFL, week six big matchups include:
NY Giants v. New Orleans Saints - two undefeated teams duke it out.
Denver Broncos v. San Diego Chargers - the undefeated tackles a rival.
Baltimore Ravens v. Minnesota Vikings - the best linebacker, Ray Lewis, and the "best" QB, Brett Favre go at it.
Big games, big players, lots of undefeated teams (Giants, Vikings, Broncos, Colts and Saints), so leverage your knowledge and get in where you fit in. Don't be afraid to ask your man questions, like "What are the Giants' chances of remaining undefeated this week? Or what do you think about Tom Brady not living up to the hype?" Just don't ask questions such as, "How many quarters are there in a game?" If you do, it will take more than this blog to help you.

The Dodgers won game two of the NLCS against the Phillies, splitting the series a game a piece.
The Yankees beat the Angels in game one of the ALCS.

We hate to say it, but you can't win them all. South Florida learned that the hard way Thursday night after a loss to Cincinnati. Prior to South Florida's loss, both team were 5-0. All is fair in love and college football.

All is fair in love and baseball too. The Phillies took game one of the NLCS. Next up to bat, Yankees v. Angels in the ALCS.

Hockey's wild child and wunderkind Alex Ovechkin scored half of the Washington's Capital's goals in their win over the San Jose Sharks. The Sharks were the only NHL team that Ovechkin hadn't scored against, and now he's taken care of that. Don't you wish it were that easy?

Guess who's coming to dinner? Came to dinner, really. Quarterback Tim Tebow made his return to play with the Florida Gators after suffering a severe concussion. This was bad news for the LSU Tigers who got chomped by Florida Saturday. Florida remains #1 in the rankings. New to #2 is Alabama, who snuck in there after a win over Mississippi.

Speaking of wins, the Yankees and Angels scored a few good moves (we're talking beyond third base) and swept their respective opponents in the American League Division Series. The two teams now face each other in the American League Championship Series. All of these series names can get so complex. If they want to be together, they should just be and forget about the titles. We're just saying...


Tiger Woods picked up another win and check Sunday after completing the five-day match for the President's Cup, with his fellow golfing American teammates. Woods won all five matches of the President's Cup. Yawn. He's the third player in history to do so.

Photo from SharptonTalk.net

Rev. Al Sharpton, who is having a better hair day than you, spent his Columbus Day holiday drafting a letter to the NFL Comissioner in an attempt to block conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh from a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams. Sharpton believes Limbaugh's previous shortcomings in race relations won't bode well for him trying to partially own a professional team that is made up of personnel that Limbaugh has spoken negatively about in the past.

So while Limbaugh may not have the backing of Sharpton, Dez Bryant of Oklahoma State does have the backing of his school for his suspension for lying to the NCAA when questioned about his presence at former NFL star Deion Sanders' house. Oklahoma State is lobbying to get Bryant reinstated. The situation all started when Sanders invited Bryant, the best wide receiver in college football, over for a nice home-cooked meal. Sanders said he has taken Bryant under his wing. When asked about the event, Bryant said he panicked because he didn't know if the act was against NCAA policy and lied about being there. The NCAA has strict rules about player interaction with agents, so Bryant covered his tracks, but apparently no agent was present, therefore no harm, no foul.  Bryant is now suspended from playing the rest of his senior year for lying. The lesson here: lying never pays, people.

Just ask the Chicago Cubs. They are broke and need a buyer. Instead of lying about it, they filed for Chapter 11 to create a quick sale. Recession, anyone?

In Monday night football, very handsome and very supposedly single (choose at your own risk) Braylon Edwards, who likes long walks on the beach, put on a spectacular show for the NY Jets, but in the end lost to the Miami Dolphins. Imagine that. Giving something your all, and still not coming out ahead. Kinda sounds like a relationship.